Why Your Son May Be Struggling With Body Image and Gym Obsession

Across Australia, a new and often misunderstood health crisis is affecting young men. It is not drugs. It is not alcohol. It is not even gaming or gambling. It is body image.

Young men today are under growing pressure to build extreme muscular physiques. Many spend hours in the gym each day, count every calorie, track muscle size and constantly compare their bodies to others online. To outsiders, it may look like fitness and discipline. But for many families, this has become a source of worry. What starts as a healthy interest in training can spiral into obsession, steroid use and mental health decline.

This article explains why so many young men feel they must look like muscle gods, what the warning signs are and how you can support your son before things go too far.

1. The New Body Standard for Young Men

Not long ago, body image concerns were seen as something girls struggled with. Boys were supposed to be carefree, confident and relaxed about their looks. That stereotype is outdated and dangerous. Today, boys are comparing themselves to impossible male body standards promoted by Hollywood actors, fitness influencers and online bodybuilders.

Young men now feel pressure to be:

• Lean but big
• Strong but aesthetic
• Masculine but flawless
• Always improving

The modern male body ideal is no longer simply fit. It is extreme. Think Chris Hemsworth in Thor or UFC fighters in peak condition. These physiques are difficult to achieve naturally, yet they have become the default image of what a “real man” should look like.

Fitness culture has shifted from health to identity. Your son may feel his body defines his worth. If he is not big enough, lean enough or strong enough, he may feel like he is not good enough.

2. Why Your Son Feels Pressure to Look Perfect

Young men today are exposed to more comparison than any generation before them. Your son is not just influenced by friends at school or teammates at sport. He is influenced by an entire digital world of gym culture and image-based validation.

The main pressures include:

Social media algorithms

Platforms like TikTok, Instagram and YouTube reward extreme content. Your son is likely being fed hundreds of daily videos of ripped men promoting supplements, “bulking programs” and unrealistic results.

Dating expectations

Many teenage boys believe girls only want muscular men. Peer conversations and online dating culture reinforce the idea that appearance equals attraction, and muscles equal value.

Peer comparison

Friends talk about gains, supplements and personal records. Training becomes competition. No one wants to be the small one in the group.

Insecurity and control

Bodies become a way to cope. If a young man feels uncertain about his future, confidence or identity, his body becomes something he can control. Gym progress offers measurable wins. Bigger arms. More weight lifted. Visible success when life feels uncertain.

3. Male Body Image Issues Are Real, Not Vanity

Many parents underestimate how serious body image issues can be for boys. They assume it is just a phase or harmless self-improvement. But research from the Butterfly Foundation shows that one in three Australians experiencing body image issues are now male. This includes young men who are anxious about being “too small,” “not lean enough” or “not muscular enough”.

This is not about vanity

Male body image problems often develop from:

• Low self-esteem
• School bullying
• Social disconnection
• Relationship insecurity
• Comparison and shame
• Fear of rejection

For many young men, building muscle becomes a way to feel safe and accepted. But when self-worth is tied to appearance, it lays the foundation for long-term mental health problems such as:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Perfectionism
• Emotional numbness
• Anger and irritability
• Social withdrawal

Bigorexia or Muscle Dysmorphia

This is a growing mental health condition where young men become obsessed with gaining muscle even if they are already very muscular. They see themselves as small or weak no matter how big they get. It is body dysmorphia, just focused on muscle instead of weight. It can lead to extreme diets, injury, overtraining and steroid use.

4. When Fitness Becomes an Obsession

Most young men start training for healthy reasons. Maybe your son wanted to improve his confidence, look fit or support his sport performance. Training can be healthy. The problem is when it takes over his life.

Gym addiction looks like discipline from the outside

It may appear he is committed and focused. But obsession hides behind routine. The gym becomes less about health and more about emotional survival.

Warning signs fitness is no longer healthy:

• He gets angry or anxious if he misses a workout
• He refuses to eat with the family due to his meal plan
• He weighs or measures his body every day
• His mood depends on how he looks in the mirror
• He isolates from friends who do not gym
• He trains through injuries to avoid losing progress
• He only wears baggy clothes to hide his body
• He posts constant progress selfies online for validation

If your son is doing these things, training is not just a hobby. It is a coping mechanism. He may be using the gym to avoid uncomfortable emotions or insecurities.

5. Steroids and Performance Drugs: The Hidden Problem in Australian Gyms

There is a common myth that steroids are only used by professional bodybuilders. That is no longer true. Steroid use is increasing among everyday young men in Australia, especially those aged 16–30 who want fast results in the gym.

Why young men turn to steroids

Your son may feel pressure to:

• Get bigger faster
• Keep up with friends or online influencers
• Feel more confident or masculine
• Break through “plateaus”
• Avoid feeling small or weak

Because results take time, many young men lose patience and turn to shortcuts. Online forums and gym culture normalise steroid use as part of “levelling up”. Influencers rarely admit to using anything illegal but label their progress as “clean bulk”. Young men feel fooled by natural limits and think drugs are the only solution.

Steroids are not harmless

Steroid use carries serious health risks including:

• Long-term hormonal damage
• Heart enlargement
• Liver and kidney strain
• Infertility and sexual dysfunction
• Severe acne and hair loss
• Mood swings and aggression
• Paranoia and depression (especially after stopping)

Most young men who use steroids do not get medical supervision. They rely on unsafe advice online or from other users at the gym. Many inject with no knowledge of hygiene, cycles or risks. What starts as a quick boost can lead to addiction, lifelong health problems or mental breakdown.

Legal reality in Australia

Steroids are illegal to buy or possess without a valid prescription in Australia. The Australian Border Force regularly seizes illegal steroid imports ordered online. Police also investigate gym networks that distribute these drugs. Many young men think they are safe because “everyone at the gym does it”. That is false. Possession can result in criminal charges.

6. The Role of Toxic Masculinity

Body pressure in men is not only about appearance. It is linked to the way masculinity is defined in Australia. Boys grow up hearing messages like:

• “Harden up”
• “Be a man”
• “Stop acting soft”
• “Weakness is failure”

These messages teach boys to hide their emotions and avoid vulnerability. Many young men struggle with fear, insecurity and loneliness but bury those feelings under muscle and aggression. Instead of asking for help, they push harder in the gym.

Toxic gym culture reinforces this

In some fitness spaces, strength is linked to dominance and self-value. Young men are rewarded for:

• Training through pain
• Never resting
• Lifting heavier at any cost
• Mocking those who are smaller
• Rejecting any sign of emotional struggle

This is not strength. It is self-destruction disguised as discipline. Real strength is the ability to face your emotions, ask for support and build a balanced life.

7. Warning Signs Your Son May Be Struggling

It can be hard to tell when training crosses the line from healthy to harmful. Many boys hide emotional struggles behind gym habits. Below are signs that suggest your son may be experiencing body image issues or gym obsession.

Physical signs

• Rapid change in muscle size
• Sudden strict dieting or “bulking”
• Constant exhaustion but still training
• Avoiding rest days
• Flushing, acne or swollen face (possible steroid effects)
• Needle marks on thighs or glutes (a late warning sign)

Emotional signs

• Irritable or angry when he cannot train
• Moody if meals are not “perfect”
• Obsessed with physical appearance
• Low confidence despite being muscular
• Constant comparison to others
• Denies there is a problem

Behavioural signs

• Weighing food or eating alone
• Spending excessive money on supplements
• Long secretive bathroom trips (injecting or measuring muscles)
• Hours alone at the gym daily
• Cancelling plans to train
• Mirror checking or shirtless photos daily

Real-life example

Daniel is 17. He started going to the gym after being teased in Year 10 for being skinny. At first, he trained three days a week. One year later, he trains twice a day, weighs every meal and keeps creatine in his school bag. He no longer goes out with mates unless he can still get his gym session in. His mother says he gets angry if dinner is not “macro-friendly”. His teachers say he falls asleep in class. When asked if he is ok, he says “I’m fine. I just want to improve”.

Daniel is not fine. He is stuck.

8. How to Talk to Your Son About Body Pressure

Confronting your son directly with “You have a problem” will not work. He will shut down or deny it. Boys who feel judged become defensive. The key is to build trust first and open gentle but honest conversations.

Good ways to start a conversation

• “I have noticed you are training a lot lately. How are you feeling about it?”
• “Has the gym been helping you manage anything stressful?”
• “Do you feel pressure to look a certain way?”
• “Is training still enjoyable, or does it feel like a job now?”

Avoid these phrases

• “You are obsessed”
• “You are being ridiculous”
• “Stop worrying about your body”
• “Just eat normally”
• “You should take a break from the gym”
• “Other people do not care how you look”

These statements dismiss his feelings and will make him shut down. He needs to feel heard, not criticised.

Real-life example

Corey, 19, became distant from his parents. He spent most of his time training and eating alone in his room. His father tried to help but approached him with criticism: “This gym thing is out of control. You look stupid.” Corey reacted with anger, stopped talking and became more secretive.

A month later, his mum approached him differently:
“I know I pushed too hard before. I am not against your training, I just care how you feel. If you ever feel pressure, I will listen. No judgement.”

That was the first time Corey opened up. He admitted he felt insecure and angry about not being good at anything except the gym.

9. Better Masculinity: Strength Without Obsession

The problem is not that your son wants to be strong. The problem is when his body becomes his only source of identity, confidence or self-worth. Healthy strength builds life. Toxic strength destroys it.

Healthy masculinity looks like:

• Confidence without comparison
• Discipline without obsession
• Fitness without shame
• Strength without arrogance
• Emotion without fear
• Independence with connection

Young men do not need lectures. They need role models. They need safe conversations about what it means to be a man today. They need to know that physical strength is good, but emotional strength is essential.

10. Where to Get Help and Support

If you are worried about your son, trust your instincts. You do not need to wait until things get worse. Early support makes a difference.

Practical steps for parents

• Keep calm, avoid confrontation
• Start small, consistent conversations
• Ask how he feels, not how he looks
• Focus on balance, not stopping the gym
• Encourage rest days and variety
• Watch for changes in mood and sleep
• Involve a GP early if you suspect steroid use
• Suggest talking to someone neutral

If your son refuses help at first, stay patient. Keep communication open. Avoid power struggles. Offer support without pressure.

When professional help can make a difference

Support from a counsellor can:

• Improve self-esteem
• Reduce body image anxiety
• Address comparison and perfectionism
• Help manage emotional stress
• Reduce risk of steroid use
• Create a healthier mindset around fitness

Support at The Abbwell Group

At The Abbwell Group, we work with young men who feel pressure to change their bodies, fit in or look perfect. Many of them struggle with male body image issues, anger, anxiety or emotional shutdown. Our counselling is practical, respectful and outcomes-focused. We help young men build genuine confidence without extreme behaviours or unhealthy pressure.

We also support parents who want to know how to guide their sons without pushing them away. If you want to have a confidential discussion or explore counselling for your son, we are here to help.

Crisis Support

If your son is in emotional distress or at risk of harm:

• Lifeline 13 11 14
• Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
• Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
• Headspace (Youth mental health) headspace.org.au
• In an emergency, call 000

Final Message to Parents

You do not need to be an expert to help your son. You only need to be present, patient and willing to listen. He may not be ready to open up today, but a calm, caring approach will give him space to do so when he is ready.

Muscles do not make a man. Character does. Loyalty does. Purpose does. Teaching boys that message starts at home.